Chicago, Ill, September 10th

When I hear 'Chicago', it brings to mind all the usual associations: da Bears, da Bulls, the song Sinatra made famous, Sandburg's City of Big Shoulders, Al Capone, Lake Michigan.... But most of all, the old Joey Bishop joke. A guy gets on a bus in Chicago and asks the bus driver, "Do you go to the Loop?". Bus driver says, "No, I go beep-beep".

The Indians called it Chigagou, which means the wild garlic place, or maybe it was onions. It's a high energy city alright, but this midwestern bulb is just a few whats short of shining bright. Like what, for instance, is Wacker Drive doing making a ninety degree turn and screwing you all up direction-wise? (What are they doing naming a street Wacker to begin with?) What were they thinking when they built their trains above the street; didn't somebody tell 'em? And, what can be done about the Cubs?

Very friendly people, no question, but it must be the only city in the world where the expression 'you can't get there from here' truly applies. Streets go under and over each other, with some leading to deadends. Stairs and elevators connect to sidewalks which either lead nowhere or to oblivion. All evidence, I surmise, of the old Boss Daley regime; contractors profiting, at the expense of city planning.

Most of the area outside the toney inner-city tourist district has gone to pot: potheads, pot holes, pot bellies, a potpourri of cultures, and many without a pot to piss in. On Saturday, I drove through these areas on my way to attend the 81st German-American Festival, an ethnic gathering which turned out to be comprised almost entirely of food tents, beer tents, and recorded German oompah music; just the sort of social event Gary Condit would attend, if he could.

It was about one block long, and located between Rosded's Thai restaurant and Adinamis' funeral home. Some men were dressed in Liederhosen, frauleins looked like frauleins, and one guy sported a Kaiser helmet. All great fun! On a warm afternoon, there's nothing like a cold beer, bratwurst with sauerkraut, and homemade apple cake. It was worth the drive.

While in the Chicago area, I also toured the Hemingway Museum, the Field Museum (where I met the captivating 'Sue'), and Fermilab (the top place in the world for high energy sub-atomic particle research). Driving through the expansive grounds of Fermilab, I was shocked to discover that they also have a herd of bison. They're everywhere! Probably use them for some atom smashing?

On my way to Ohio, now, for golf with the Figaro and Mia. Music on the CD the last few days: Andrea Bocelli's "Romanza". Ciao