Manhattan, NY, October 2nd

If Osama bin Laden were smart, he would give himself up right now. His lieutenants too. It would stop the Bush posse so fast, they'd be smashing into each other like popping corn, trying to put their guns back in their holsters.

Not only would it help diminish the coalition, it would also force Bush's hand to release the evidence in a US court, thereby exposing confidential espionage tactics.

But, most significantly, bin Laden would be able to ascend the rostrum of the world stage and secure for himself the largest and widest audience in recorded history. I dare say, there would not be a soul worldwide who would not listen to his message.

He could then list his grievances, recount the history of 'evil' Western colonialism, and clearly limn the negative effects of American money and culture on the Middle East, Asia and Africa. A page out of Ted Kaczynski's book, but not as wordy.

It could be a very powerful message. Already, there are indications of Western attitude changes: today, Bush has publicly asserted support for a Palestinian state,and Tony Blair addressed the dire situation in Africa as demanding immediate attention from the West. These are clear hints that Western foreign policy will exhibit a radical change in the years ahead.

If bin Laden hasn't gone completely nutso in the searing Afghan heat and in the moldy caves, the opportunity for him is now.

Then we'll hang the son of a bitch.