Pennsylvania #2
(07-30-2004)

There were only two reasons I visited the HARLEY-DAVIDSON factory in York: One, because Route 30 (America's oldest transcontinental highway) passes right by it; and two, to ask when the hell they're going to design a muffler that will cut down on the god-awful noise those motorcycles make.

What they replied: Harley-Davidson makes an excellent muffler, but some riders prefer to remove them. What I heard: Harley-Davidson makes an excellent muffler, but some riders who are inconsiderate, mangle-brained, self-centered, clueless troglodytes prefer to remove them.

So, I guess it's a matter of applying the noise abatement laws. Where's John Ashcroft when you really need him?

It's been twenty-five years since the Three Mile Island nuclear near-disaster. Unfortunately, due to cost-cutting and negative publicity, the visitor center which explains it all was shut down, for years now. Shame. I engaged a couple of knowledgeable locals (one who worked there at the time) and they said that many of the citizens still hold a grudge regarding the news blackout that was imposed that day, and for not being informed of what was really happening. Double shame.

Travel planning tip: As a choco-holic, I can say that the HERSHEY CHOCOLATE PARK is nothing more than a Disney-type major indoctrination center for imprinting young minds with their brand name. It's frequented by overweight tourists and their young hyperglycemic consumer trainees, mouths watering as they wend their way from store to store. (I'm here, so it obviously works). But, get out your map of Pennsylvania and your black magic marker and cross out the name Hershey, making sure every part of every letter is completely obliterated, (notwithstanding the fact that the founder, Milton Hershey, bequeathed sixty million dollars, most of his wealth, to a school to house and educate needy and disadvantaged children).

The AMISH are more than a curious tourist attraction. They are performance art at its most incisive. Their lifestyle makes you think. My guide, who brought me onto their farms, and into their barns, fields and workshops, said that all visitors inquire about the apparent ethical dilemmas of the Amish. (And, by doing so, hopefully extend this inquiry to the ethical dilemmas faced by our more modern world). The highlights:

First, the Amish strictly avoid the use of automobiles and electricity (my young Amish clerk had to ask her non-Amish manager to swipe my charge card through the electronic machine), yet they avail themselves of the benefits vehicles and electricity provide. While their uses of hydraulics and compressed air are quite inventive, fuel oils, pesticides and a host of other products, all made with the use of electricity, are delivered by vehicles directly to their doors. (What is there about the movement of an electron that is so distinct from the ignition of a processed diesel molecule?). PS: They don't use rubber tires on their buggies, eschewing the tempting comfort of a smooth ride.

Secondly, while the Amish insist that baptism into the Faith should be voluntary only after reaching adulthood, they limit the education of their youth to eighth grade maximum, a level certainly too constrictive for anyone to be exposed to other mythologies and social orders. As a result, over 95% decide to remain in the Order.

And third, how can they justify their plentiful growing and selling of tobacco, knowing full well the harm it causes to so many? My Mennonite guide said that an Amish had told him that profit was the main motive.

Yet, despite these inconsistencies, we can respect the Amish for values which promote brotherhood: The Amish believe in non-resistance, or non-violence, as a way of life; not a bad idea. Also, it was the forerunners of today's Amish who, in the face of severe persecution, insisted on the complete separation of church and state, an ideal many of us still cherish. And as far as good deeds are concerned, let's not overlook their whoopee pies and shoofly pies. Delicious!

Ethical dilemmas can never be resolved to the satisfaction of everyone, because each person or group frames the questions with different sets of principles. But, hoping not to sound too maudlin, it is the questioning itself which may be the most important endeavor. And that's the showcase that the Amish provide. Performance art indeed.

Taking a week out in Wynnewood, PA seeing to mom, then it's off to Iceland and London next Monday. Ta-ta.