Iceland
(08-19-2004)

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Iceland has a case of complex schizophrenia:

First, it's splitting apart - literally splitting apart. The island sits on the mid-Atlantic Ridge, one part on the North American Plate, the other on the European Plate; and these two plates are moving away from each other. (Ironically, Reykjavik, the capital where about 90% of Icelanders live, sits on the North America side, but politically it sits wherever it wants to).

Even thought it has a state church (90% are Evangelical Lutheran), the state also officially endorses the belief in trolls and elves, to the point where construction will be temporarily halted if the Transportation Department determines that these "hidden people" will be disrupted. But, as the American Evangelicals often ask, "What would Jesus do?"

(The patient is still on the couch). Iceland has opened itself to the world, pursuing an aggressive campaign for tourism, presently its second largest industry (just behind fishing). Yet, it has a severe immigration policy. Outsiders, who marry an Icelander and decide to live in Iceland, are required by law, among other things, to learn the Old Norse language. "We love you, world, but..."

All Icelanders speak Old Norse, spoken as it was over a thousand years ago, so pure, that Scandinavians who comprise the greatest portion of tourism (to Scandinavians, a trip to Iceland is like visiting the 'Old Country') can't understand them at all. Yet all Icelanders speak English - they start teaching the little towheads at about age eleven. However, officially they will not allow any English to creep into the old language. (The French and Japanese attempted the same policy, but failed miserably). Even new technical words are given a Norse-like name. For instance, the word for computer is tolva, a shortening and combination of two words which roughly means "numbers which give wisdom". How quaint.

Icelanders by and large consider themselves Europeans (but they won't convert to the Euro), yet when the U.S. announced it was closing its base there (and removing all four fighter jets!), it caused a great deal of national worry because they felt it would leave their country defenseless. Defenseless!? Against what? Fundamentalist trolls? Sounds like a little paranoia creeping in. I wonder if they have a word for paranoia.

Icelanders consider themselves a major force in the world of design and fashion, yet their architecture is the most bland and blah you'll find anywhere in the world. Even the newer structures are as flat and plain as one can imagine, and it has nothing to do with the weather. Because of global warming, Reykjavik seldom enjoys a white Christmas.

Icelanders are quiet people, unhurried, no sense of urgency and they describe themselves as mildly depressed. Yet, on weekends, Reykjavik becomes the party capital of the Northern Hemisphere. Go figure.

Yet, I love these people, and I loved visiting the country. I will probably return someday, on a future trip to Europe. So, let me offer a little smug advice to help clear up their complex schizophrenia, multiple personalities, call it what you'd like. First, get off the Prozac, caffeine and sugar. Icelanders consume more Prozac (and Coca-Cola) per capita than any other country in the world! Second, forget about Europe and forget about North America. If you want to solve that identity crisis, just consider yourselves part of the Polar Icecap. And, since the polar icecap is melting, you'll be open to receive a great deal of foreign aid, sympathy (hugs) from around the world, and a considerable expansion of tourism, people who want to see what it's all about. Now where can I send my bill?

BUT THAT'S NOT THE STORY. THIS IS: My mission to save the world.

Because of the plates splitting apart, Iceland has a huge amount of geothermal energy (along with a vast amount of available hydro and wind energy). All of the country is heated geothermally, and so far about 17% of the electrical power is supplied by natural geothermal steam, hot enough to run a turbine directly. Iceland has not burned coal since 1933!! In twenty years, all electrical power will be supplied geothermally, and 25% of England's electrical power will be supplied by Iceland, with cables running under the North Sea to Scotland. Absolutely incredible!!

So, I started asking around, to the guides and everyone I met; (sometimes I can be such a pest): If Iceland has 5 electrical power plants now, then why not 500? I mean, it's relatively free, right? You just dig a hole, and let the steam come up. And, instead of putting more than $200 billion into Iraq, why don't we give that money to Iceland to build power plants, which can be used to create hydrogen, then we can run most of our vehicles on fuel cells? (Vehicles alone account for 75% of America's oil consumption). Result: No more wars, no more pollution, and no more terrorism.

(Slight digression and mild rant: Anyone who thinks invading Iraq was not about the oil is a damn fool. If you can wade through all the platitudes and BS about promoting democracy in the world, weapons of mass destruction, ridding the world of a cruel heartless dictator, and the terrorism connection (there was none!), then you can get to the bottom line: Oil runs the world and, because of China, India, and others, consumption is increasing at an ever greater rate. (Just last week, England became an importer). All of the largest oil reserves in the world were discovered before 1970, and most of those before 1930. Saudi Arabia has the largest, and they're running to near capacity. Iraq is second, and Russia third (the pipeline from Russia will be running through Afghanistan). In short, the world is running short (and Alaska, the Caribbean, and all those other places Bush wants to drill, don't amount to a drop in the bucket). Just look at the price per barrel. We invaded Iraq because the U.S. could not allow one country to dominate the Middle East, and the oil. That was Saddam's plan; he tried it in Kuwait. The French didn't go along with the invasion because they had already made a huge oil deal with Saddam, and didn't want to lose it. The only immediate threat that Saddam posed is our own fault: We have our head up our oil barrel, and can't tell the crude from the refined).

Back to Iceland: Okay, so why don't we build power plants there? Nobody knew the answer. Sure, Iceland is producing hydrogen, and they're starting to use it on their government vehicles but, again, why not 500 power plants, funds provided by the U.S.?

So I got crazy, and embarked on my own Icelandic saga. As it was my last afternoon there, I rented a car (exorbitant price - don't even ask) and got the Tourism office to set up a tour for me at Nesjavellir power plant, their newest one. I drove like a maniac, through the back roads, no other cars in sight, up and down hills and narrow bridges, trying to read signs which were not designed to be pronounced by the human tongue, all to get there before they closed. Personal safety was not as important as my mission to prevent Armageddon.

It's a very clean and beautiful plant, and I was met by an equally beautiful Erna who gave me the full tour. She was incredibly adept and answered every question I posed, except the one I came to get answered: Why don't we build 500 plants, etc? Her response: "Good question. I never thought of that." Apparently my enthusiasm was infectious, because she immediately got on the phone and called the engineers to get an answer. (There are no engineers at the plant and that in itself is amazing. This 90 megawatt plant is run by just six technicians, including the janitor. And the hydrocarbons it releases into the air in one year - due to algae and micro organisms - a coal-burning plant produces in just 5 days! How's that for pollution free? Oh, and by the way, after the steam runs through the turbine, it's still pretty warm so they send it by pipe 30 miles away to heat half of Reykjavik. Wow, an environmentalist's dream).

Well, it was late, and the engineers had gone home. So she offered to email the response, and I just received it, today. So here it is: There are only 3 major hot spots in Iceland which produce steam hot enough to run a turbine. One is under a glacier. Glaciers move, so any steam pipe that is drilled would be broken in a very short time, less than a year. The one at Nesjavellir where I visited only has capacity for 690 megawatts, just enough to take care of all Iceland. (Capacity is determined by how much water is underground, and that water comes from the slow melting of the country's glaciers) And the third, further north, is planned for England's use.

So that's it. (Not a great ending). Or, is it? Iceland is surrounded by the sea. So, why don't we pump water down into the earth and use that free heat...? Aw, forget it, Joe. Stop blowing your own hot steam, pump some gas into your car and get back on the road.

An Interesting Addendum:
Everyone agrees that it was the intrepid Leif Eriksson who first discovered 'America'. The Vikings attempted to settle the new land but were eventually driven out by the native Indians. Almost 500 years later, a young man from Italy visited Iceland and, as a seafarer, most likely heard tales of that new land to the west. That young man was, of course, Christopher Columbus.

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